


Prisoner

by ppacespearb



Series: Plastic Heart [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But he is soft for Hyunjin, Don't know what else to tag cuz I don't want to give u spoilers, Fluff and Angst, HWANG HYUNJIN BEST BOY, Lee Minho | Lee Know is a Little Shit, M/M, Past Lee Minho / Seo Changbin, Recreational Drug Use, Rockstar!Changbin Popstar!Hyunjin, Seo Changbin is Bad at Feelings, Seo Changbin is a Mess, changjin for the win, give me a chance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 15:35:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30040893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ppacespearb/pseuds/ppacespearb
Summary: (...)"You seem happy, Bin… You seem really happy around him. I didn't see you smile this bright in a long time."“I’m not putting him into my mess, Chan. I’m done with fucking up peoples lives.”“You should give a chance to yourself, Bin. A chance to be happy.” Chan glanced at his best friend with a fond expression.“I’m also done with chances, Chan, but thank you.”That was Changbin's final answer.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin
Series: Plastic Heart [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2168688
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	Prisoner

**Author's Note:**

> 2/3 Plastic Heart Series 
> 
> it won't make any sense if you don't read the first part!!!!  
> english is not my native language
> 
> heeeeeeeeello!! its me again, ok so. it will hurt. but i promise that MAYBE MAYBE things will be fine in the last part HAHAHA
> 
> as already said at the first part, this is inspired by Miley Cyrus new album Plastic Heart and the song used in this one is Prisoner, you should listen to it <3
> 
> last but not least: thanku to all my beta readers: jennie, cami and lun. i would be nothing without you.
> 
> LETS GO!

_ “Frightened by my own reflection _

_ Desperate for a new connection _

_ Pull you in, but don't you get too close” _

_Plastic Heart - Miley Cyrus_

**I.**

Changbin and Hyunjin stared at Chan and Seungmin with wide puppy eyes, they looked like two anxious children after showing something they were very proud to do. Their managers exchanged a joyful look, smiling at them. 

“That’s a bop!” Chan was really excited. 

“It’s really what we needed to make this album the album of the year. I can see the best duo performance’s’ Grammy already.” Seungmin spoke with sincerity, it was really a song made to be catchy. 

"Okay, I know we put some effort into it, but you don't have to overdo it, Seungmin." Changbin scratched his neck, trying to hold his spirits.

“I’m not overdoing anything, I’m just being optimistic, you two really created a masterpiece together.” Kim smirked at them. “So we need to set the things for the music video.”

“I would like to work with Bin's music video's director” Hyunjin spoke for the first time, he and Changbin had already discussed it, and he would like to make Changbin as comfortable as possible with this whole situation, so he had better work with someone who he was used to. 

“Then she will be!” Seungmin didn’t even try to discuss. He was smart enough to notice how Hyunjin and Changbin's relationship was developing, and even though he was concerned with the resolutions as the way they were attached to each other, he couldn't help but find it cute.

Chan on the other hand has been walking on eggshells since Minho’s incident. Changbin didn’t say a word about it, and it had been fifteen days since the stressful event. Seo Changbin had a knack for pretending things were okay, he put an impassive expression on his face, and as much as his brain was begging for help, he remained unyielding. 

But, Chan knew his best friend too well to just let things be.

  
  


When they reached the car, Chris didn’t even wait for Changbin to put on the seat belt straight. “I’m sorry.” He seemed desperate, like he's been holding those words in his throat for too long. “I should have told you, I should have told you from the first moment it happened.”

"What the fuck are you talking about, Chan?" Changbin glanced at him, pretending he didn't really know what his manager was talking about. 

"Really, Bin?! With me?" Bang started the car, slowly leaving the studio parking lot. It was a relatively long way until they arrived at Changbin's apartment, so they would have a good time to talk. "I have known you for a long time, Seo Changbin, I know when you're pretending." He sighed. "I'm really sorry, ok?! It just happened. I couldn't control it." 

"Right, so what?! I know how much Minho can be irresistible." Changbin shrugged. "And the way he moans your name in bed, it's really something…" 

"Changbin!"

"Sorry!?" He giggled, trying to run away from the subject. "Really, Chan, it's not a big deal. I'm pretty mentally fucked up?! Yeah, but I'm still a grown up man who can deal with his ex dating his best friend. It doesn't affect me the way you think it would. It's fine. I really mean it." 

Chan heard him pressing his lips in a single line. "Are you falling for Hyunjin!?" 

"Ok, now you're being delusional." Changbin rolled back his eyes, ignoring his heart racing like a sport's car. 

"No, I'm not. I've seen the way you are around each other, Binnie. You call each other  _ baby _ ."

Changbin let out a nervous laugh. “The baby thing is Jisung’s fault, he started this shit. It’s a lame joke, Channie.” He bit his lower lip, looking at the road. "He's a good kid, a good friend. That's it. I'm not falling for him, we just have good chemistry together." He doesn't even believe it for himself. Changbin already managed to feel something strange in his stomach every time he saw Hyunjin, every time he thought about Hyunjin. It wasn't  _ already love _ , but it was certainly something that he never felt for someone before. 

"You seem happy, Bin… You seem really happy around him. I didn't see you smile this bright in a long time." 

“I’m not putting him into my mess, Chan. I’m done with fucking up peoples lives.” 

“You should give a chance to yourself, Bin. A chance to be happy.” Chan glanced at his best friend with a fond expression. 

“I’m also done with chances, Chan, but thank you.” 

That was Changbin's final answer. 

.

.

.

He woke choking in his own breath, despair consuming him, he gasped for air. 

Another nightmare. Another insomniac night.  _ Great _ . 

Changbin touched the mattress, trying to compose himself, his fingers caress the silk sheets, trying to calm down by breathing and inhaling slowly. He felt sweat fall over his neck, his hair glued to his forehead. The man sighed heavily, with hands shaking, he needed a cigarette. 

The constant insomniac episodes were not of today, Changbin had always had great difficulty sleeping. And they got worse after he decided to stop drinking again. After the impulsive kiss he exchanged with Hyunjin, he decided he should try to stop, he needed to stop. Changbin cared too much for the youngest to let him into the mess he was. He wouldn't forgive himself if he ruined Hyunjin's life.

But, it was very difficult for him to deal with the withdrawal alone, it had been three days since he last put a drop of alcohol in his mouth and in those three days he barely managed to sleep a wink. Changbin slowly stood up, searching for his pack of cigarettes. 

The short man staggered to the living room, stumbling over the steps, needing to hold tight to the railing to keep himself from falling, it was almost impossible to stand. "One, two, three." He started to count, slowly, breathing at each number. "You got this, you fucker, you weak piece of shit. You got this." He started to mumble, but his eyes caught the sight of a single forgotten wine bottle on the dark wooden shelf in the living room. "You don't need this. You don't fucking need this." He was almost tearing up, that bottle wasn't supposed to be there, he asked his staff to get rid of all alcoholic drinks in the house. 

Changbin felt his mouth dry, his body didn't respond to his commands, his fingers were already surrounding the bottle when the notification sound from his cell phone snapped him out of the torpor.

_ Almost. _

Who could it be at this hour of the morning, it was already past four. 

Changbin couldn't see himself, but he was smiling wide in relief when he saw who it was. 

**_Hyunnie:_ **

_ hey. i know you probably asleep, but. i just wanted to say that I'm really proud of our work. i can't wait for the reactions, really. thanku so much for get into this with me. ❣️ _

So Changbin did the most irrationally rational thing he could do at that moment. As if that message was a sign. He called up Hyunjin.

_ "Oh shit, I'm sorry, did I wake you up?!" _

"No, I was already awake…" Changbin's voice was still shaky. "You, on the other hand, should be sleeping, your makeup artist will kill you if you have dark circles. We are going to shoot the music video in a couple weeks, Jinnie."

_ "I can't sleep properly before a comeback, I always get agitated..." _ There was a pause. _ "Are you okay? Why were you awake, babe?" _

Ok, the  _ babe  _ thing. Changbin needed to pretend that he wasn't flushed every time Hyunjin called him that. 

After their kiss, Changbin obviously did what he always did best: he disassembled that nothing happened, so did Hyunjin. And even so, he couldn't help teasing the youngest, it started as a joke, Changbin just wanted to see Hyunjin's ears bright red, and his flushed cute dimpled cheeks.

The spell turned against the sorcerer.

"I'm ok, baby. Just…" He considered whether or not to say it. "I had a shitty nightmare. But, I'm ok now, your voice cools me down." 

Bin could hear a chuckle on the other end of the line _. "Stop saying those embarrassing things." _

"You were the one who called me  _ babe _ first." 

_ "You started this babe thing!"  _ Hyunjin's tone was exasperated. 

They both laughed hard.

_ "So, do you want me to sing you a song?" _

"Oh, and I'm the embarrassing one." 

.

.

.

"I want you to meet someone." Changbin suddenly said, shoving some bread on his mouth. 

They were in Changbin's kitchen, having breakfast. This was a recurring thing between them, since the first time it happened. They couldn't be seen in public together, so for the most part, Hyunjin went to Bin's apartment.

"Who?" Jin asked, curious, he didn't know much about Changbin's personal life, just what the media had publicized and basically his personal tastes and manias. But, never anything about his story. 

"You'll see. But we're gonna need to camouflage ourselves." Changbin smirked, finishing his coffee. "I'll get some clothes for you." 

"What? Now?!" 

"Yeah. It's your free day today, isn't?" 

  
  


Changbin and Hyunjin were wearing dark clothes, with masks covering half their faces and caps when they left, Chan drove and dropped them outside off an enormous house, the place took a block, started with a huge garden, two big apple trees, yellow tulips growing in perfect circles, it looked like a movie set. Hyunjin was so immersed in the landscape, that he didn't even notice the sign indication of where they were. 

He got surprised when an old lady wearing white approached them. 

"Mr. Seo!" She had a polite smile and fondly shining eyes. 

Changbin beamed back, bowing slightly, taking off his mask, then took one of the lady's hands and planted a kiss. “Miss Kim! How are you?” 

“I'm even better now that you're here!” Miss Kim giggled, then looked at Hyunjin. “Oh, and does this handsome boy have a name?” She asked shamelessly. “Is he your-”

“This is Hyunjin. He’s a special person that I want her to know.” Changbin tried to interrupt the lady's hasty conclusions as politely as possible.

“Oh, I see.” She held out her hand for Hwang to take. “It’s really nice to meet you, Mr. Hyunjin!” 

The singer did the same thing as Changbin, pushing his mask down, taking the old lady’s hand and kissing it. “The pleasure is mine, and you can call me just Hyunjin, please.” He said in an almost inaudible tone, trying to disguise his flushed cheeks. 

"How is she?" Changbin asked, following the woman that was leading them until they were inside the huge building. It was then that Hyunjin realized where they were, that this was a retirement home. 

“She is alright, she woke up with a light humor today, it’s always like that when you come, she has this motherly sense.” Mrs. Kim guided them through a long corridor, the wooden floor of the place made it look old-fashioned and comfortable, it didn't really look like a nursing home.

The walls were light, and all the areas they could see passing by seemed airy, with huge windows, it was possible to hear the murmurs in the rooms, some other nurses passed by them. Hyunjin was trying to figure out what exactly he was doing there, from what he understood, they would meet Changbin’s mother, he just didn’t imagine she would be in a place like that.

  
  
  


“Sohui! Look who is here!” The old lady knocked at the door, announcing them, giving space for them to enter. 

The room was gigantic, it was like an apartment, but without the kitchen. There was a balcony dividing the space where the sofa was, and the bed that was next to a large window, with a perfect view of the garden. Sohui was sitting on the couch, watching the news, the smile she made when she saw her son reached her ears. “My boy!” She stood up, making grab hands, walking in tiny steps until she was in his arms. “My pretty little boy, where have you been?!” Mrs Seo teared up a little. 

"It hasn't been that long since the last time I was here, Mom." Changbin smiled at her, embracing her little body, kissing his mother’s forehead. She was a head smaller than him. “How are you, little queen?!” He wiped away the stubborn tears from the woman's plump cheeks.

Hyunjin watched everything carefully, trying to hold an affectionate expression while looking at them. He kept timidly quiet, waiting for Changbin to remember that he was there.

“Mom, I want to introduce you to a very special person.” The rockstar gestured for Hyunjin to approach. He continued to hold the little lady by the shoulders, while Jin got closer to them. “This is Hyunjin.” 

Hyunjin bowed shyly, then had his hands held by the woman. “I know you! You’re that famous singer, aren’t you?!” Sohui squeezed his hands between hers. “You really have good taste, don't you, Seo Changbin? And never wastes time.” She teased her own son, making him blush deeply. “I’m Seo Sohui, it’s really nice to meet such a gorgeous and talented boy like you.” 

“I’m…” Hwang was lost for words, embarrassed both by the compliments and the way she referred to him. Did she think he and Changbin were dating? But, he would also think it if he were her. “It’s really nice to meet such a beautiful and kind lady as you too, Mrs Seo!” He cleared his throat. 

It was Sohui’s time to get flustered. 

She invited them to sit next to her on the couch, they had a funny conversation, most of the time telling stories about Changbin's childhood.

  
  
  


“He, Chan and Jisung were terrible demons! Once I caught the three of them running around the garden, with their underwear on their heads. They were completly naked, running like savages, and when I asked what was that insanity about, they told me it was a dare.” She giggled between the story. “How the three of them were getting that penalty?!”

“Ok, I think you already embarrassed me enough in front of Hyunjin, mom.” Changbin laughed nervously, trying to hide how embarrassed he was, scratching his forehead and the back of his neck. “Unfortunately, it's time for us to leave.” He pouted, grabbing her hands. “I promise I’ll be back soon.” 

"You're always in a hurry, son. Are you going to sing again?" Sohui asked, looking at her boy, then gazing at Hyunjin. “Was he the one who made you go back to music?”

Changbin blinked, staring at Jin, who was blushing for the hundredth time at this point, then back to his mom. “Something like that, Mrs Seo Sohui, something like that.” He smirked, ruffling the woman's hair, making her slap his hand.

“Stop it, you little rascal!” 

They laughed, the atmosphere was so light that Hyunjin didn't want to leave, he felt so comfortable with Sohui, that he could stay there listening to the woman's stories for hours. “I wish we could stay more, Mrs Seo, it was amazing spending this time with you.” Hwang stood up, Changbin did the same afterwards. Sohui went with them to the door.

“I’ll wait for you two, huh?! I have so much more stories and gossip about Changbin that you will love to hear about, Hyunjinnie!” She took the singer's wrist, looking at him with a big smile. “And you! Don’t push yourself too much, ok? Take care of yourself.” Sohui pointed out to her son. “Please take care of him for me.” She got on her tiptoes to whisper in Hyunjin’s ears. 

“I’ll be fine, little queen.” Changbin giggled, hugging the woman's body for the last time before they left. “I love you so much. I’ll be back soon!” 

  
  
  


They went back to Changbin’s apartment, Hyunjin was waiting for his driver to pick him up. “I’ll wait at the reception. Thank you again for today, really. It was really special.” Hwang did not know how to react after that encounter with Sohui, he did not know what Changbin meant by taking him to meet his mother. 

“She didn't take my father’s death well…” Changbin whispered, coming closer to Hyunjin. “I feel really guilty about putting her in that place, I wish I could take care of her. But, I can't even take care of myself.” He looked at his shoes. “My sister refused to take care of her, which is why she and I don't talk to each other anymore.” Then he stared at Hyunjin, and the singer was really close to him. Changbin could smell Hyunjin's cinnamon scent perfectly.

“None of this is your fault. You don't have to feel guilty, you are taking care of her in the best way that you can.” Hwang spoke sincerely, feeling something turning in his stomach, what was that feeling, why did he want to hold Changbin so bad? 

“I… I just wanted to do one little thing right in my life.”

Why Hyunjin cuppped Changbin’s cheeks with both hands he didn’t know. Why their lips were so close he also didn’t know. 

“You’re doing something right, right now.” 

When their lips touched it was like the atmosphere went out. Only their body’s reacting to each other mattered. Their tongues messing up in their mouths, Changbin held Hyunjin’s waist with his hands, squeezing the skinny boy, bringing him so close that there was no space between them. Hyunjin melted against him. 

They broke apart, panting, their foreheads still glued. 

“I did it because I wanted to, I really wanted to kiss you now, you're not doing anything wrong.” Hyunjin whispered, his lips were still brushing Changbin’s, who still had his eyes closed, as if trying to record that moment. “I’ll go now. See you tomorrow at the music video recording, ok?!” 

Changbin remained still, watching Hyunjin's back when he left the apartment. No chance of responding or reacting to what had just happened. His heart felt like it was going to come out of his mouth, it was like he was in a dream.

_ Fuck.  _

  
  


**II.**

  
  


The music video recording day had come, they were at the end of the schedule, only one scene remaining of that exhausting day. 

They were in an old trailer, full of 90s paraphernalia, sitting in one of the upholstered seats. Hyunjin was on Changbin's lap, his thin arm surrounding Bin's naked shoulders. 

"Hyunjin, I'm going to ask you to hold his chin a little aggressively, and then you're going to lick his cheek." The music video's director was a young woman, with a sexy undercut, she had tattoos up to her neck. Changbin had already worked with her a few times, he usually appreciated her ideas, but this was a little absurd. 

Changbin felt Hyunjin's body stiffen.

Not that they hadn't recorded more intense scenes, as they were both playing people with a certain intimacy and chemistry. What they really had, but - until then - it was all about Hyunjin dancing sensually around Changbin while they sang.

And even though Changbin made Hyunjin extremely comfortable around him, being so close and using the tongue to touch him... The memories of the kisses they had already exchanged made him bite his lower lip, uncomfortable. “It’s ok if you don’t want to.” Changbin mumbled next to Hyunjin’s ear. 

“No, let’s do this, we’re almost done with it.” The younger grinned. 

“Perfect, so when I say action you grab his chin and lick his face in the most sensual way possible, ok?!” The director smiled wide. “One, two, three. ACTION.” 

So, Hyunjin did it, he grabbed Changbin’s chin, looking him fondly in the eyes, then he put his tongue out, licking from his chin to his cheekbone. What he did not expect was that Changbin would hold him by the scruff of the neck, preventing him from moving away, turning his face and pressing their lips together in a passionate kiss. Hyunjin didn’t have time to think about it, corresponding the act boldly. Their tongues touching, tasting each other. 

“Oh my god. Ok, cut!” The woman called them out.

Changbin ignored her, squeezing Hyunjin’s waistband, bringing him closer. He could hear a tiny moan against his own mouth.

“I said cut! I’m not directing a porn movie!” 

.

.

.

“Did you see that?!” Chan bursted into the dressing room, panting, smartphone up. “Prisoner broke YouTube.” 

“What?!” Hyunjin and Changbin said in unison. 

They were getting ready for the special stage for the album launch, obviously with Changbin participating. It was decided at the last minute that "Prisoner", the song in collaboration between them, would be the title song, and the music video was released two hours ago. 

"Prisoner beat the fastest video record to reach one million views." Seungmin came right behind Chan, smiling from ear to ear. "I told you!" 

Their eyes widened, Changbin was about to combust with nervousness. Shaking his legs, breathing hard, sweating cold, giving the staff a hard time trying to put some make up in him. 

Hyunjin on the other hand was pretty confident, sitting by Changbin's side, also doing hairstyle and make up. "Hey!" He glanced at Bin in the mirror’s reflection, calling his attention. "It's ok! We got this." 

"I'm glad that it's just for one song." Changbin mumbled, looking away from Hyunjin's dark eyes. Clearly, they still hadn't talked about Changbin kissing him the day the video was recorded, neither of them seemed ready to talk about any of the exchanged kisses. He took a deep breath again. 

"Oh, come on Bin, you were so excited at the rehearsal this morning!" Chan walked until he was next to Changbin's chair, he bent down, placing a hand on his best friend's knee. "They're gonna love it." 

The door opened again, with two other smiling people entering in that space. "Who asked for some brownies?" Felix had a box in his hands, it was possible to see the steam just from looking at the outside of the compartment, even the smell was escaping from the closed box.

"Oh gosh, my savior." Hyunjin nearly jumped from his seat, his staff glancing deadly at him. The boy ignored it, embracing Felix in a tight hug. "I can't believe that I'm finally having these brownies." 

Felix was a kind of a sub-celebrity, he was a famous baker YouTuber, Hyunjin got along with him since the first time they met, and Jin was always asking for his famous brownies. 

"Ok, Felix and his brownies completely took my shine away." Jisung had an offended tone, he was holding the right side of his boyfriend's shoulders, carrying his drumsticks on his other hand. 

"Hi, Hannie! You're late!" Hyunjin rolled his eyes, then smirked at him. "Go talk to Bin?!" He suddenly dropped his voice down, almost whispering. "He's a little nervous, and I'm pretty sure that he didn't sleep last night." 

  
  
  


"Hey, baby!" Han pulled one of the chairs, sitting next to his best friend, Changbin's makeup was already done, he was trying to distract himself by playing on his cell phone.

"Hey, baby." He answered Jisung, trying to hide how almost panicking he was. 

"I'm here, ok?! You'll nail it, you don't need anything more than your voice and your talent. I'm here with you. And now you also have Hyunjin." The younger man grabbed one of Changbin's hands, making Changbin look at him. "I got your back. I always got your back. Trust in me, and in yourself, huh?"

  
  
  


Changbin was watching the show closely from the stage side. Hyunjin had already sung some b-sides from the new album, and the title tracks from his other two old albums. 

It was his time to enter. 

The audience was not big, it was a show for guests that was being broadcast live all over the world.

_ No need to panic, Changbin. No need to panic.  _

Chan came to personally adjust the bass on his shoulder. “Go make them shout for you again, Bin. You know it's your destiny to be on stage.” He held his best friend by the neck scruff, giving him a quick smacked kiss on his forehead. "I'm here, and Jisung is right behind you.” 

“Ok. It’s showtime.” Changbin tried to ignore the sensation of his heart trying to break his rib cage. 

The lights went out, he was already up to the platform that would lift him to the middle of the stage. Hyunjin was quickly changing his clothes, running back to be next to Changbin. Their clothes matched, both were in ripped dark jeans, but Hyunjin wore a navy blue cropped top, while Changbin wore an extremely scooped tank top, almost exposing one of his nipples, arms and tattooed shoulders at full display.

“Let’s take their breaths away, baby.” Hyunjin winked, but still blushing. His golden skin was shining with sweat that the Staff couldn't clean up. Stunning. Changbin bit his lower lip, ignoring all the strangers feelings around the singer, he hadn't time for this now. “I already forgot the lyrics, Jinnie.” 

“No, you haven't. I know you haven't.” Hyunjin giggled, poking Bin’s ribs. 

“In your positions.” Seungmin caught their attention.

Hyunjin held his microphone, while Changbin's was on a mic-stand, their backs were leaning against each other. After the signal, Changbin, listening intently to the return, started the first chords on his bass. 

The platform started to rise.

“ _ Prisoner, prisoner. Locked up, can't get you off my mind, off my mind. Lord knows I tried a million times, million times. Whoa, why can't you, why can't you just let me go? _ ” Changbin sang the first verses with his drived voice at the mic. 

Red lights went on.

Hyunjin moved gracefully, one hand resting on Changbin's shoulder.  _ “Strung out on a feeling, my hands are tied, your face on my ceiling, I fantasize.”  _ He looked the shorter man directly in the eyes, coming closer to his face.  _ “Oh, I can't control it, I can't control it.”  _ The small audience screamed, the popstar walked away across the stage, his hips moving sensuously to the beat.  _ “I try to replace it with city lights, I'll never escape it, I need the high. Oh, I can't control it, I can't control it!” _

_ “You keep makin' it harder to stay, but I still can't run away.” _ Changbin's voice sounded like thunder, he had always had a malleable timbre, especially from lower to high notes _. _ He didn't take his eyes off Hyunjin for even a second, focusing his attention on him and the music as much as possible. _ “I gotta know, why can't you, why can't you just let me go?” _

_ “Prisoner, prisoner. Locked up, can't get you off my mind, off my mind.” _ Hwang approached Changbin again, gesturing with his hands for him to do the same, calling him.  _ “Lord knows I tried a million times, million times.”  _ He pointed at Changbin's face with his index finger, smiling playfully like the good performer that he was.  _ “Whoa, why can't you. Why can't you just let me go?”  _

As Changbin had left the mic-stand to get closer to Jinnie, he had to sing into the microphone that was pointed at him, in Hyunjin’s hands.  _ “Prisoner, prisoner. Locked up, can't get you off my mind, off my mind. Lord knows I tried a million times, million times. Whoa, why can't you, why can't you just let me go?”  _ They kept moving synchronously to the rhythm of the song, only separated by the bass that Changbin held, their foreheads almost touching, Bin closed his eyes, smirking.  _ “I tasted heaven, now I can't live without it. I can't forget you and your love is the loudest. Oh, I can't control it, I can't control it!” _

  
  
  


When the song ended, despite being the only one that Changbin had performed, he was sweating as if he had been singing for an entire show. Hyunjin still had his arm around his shoulders, laughing at the crowd. 

He had done it, he was back on stage, completely sober.

With nothing but Hyunjin by his side.

.

.

.

It had been two weeks since "Prisoner" was at the Billboard top chart, the song had already debuted at first, breaking a new record. Changbin had postponed all interviews as he could, only performing in another show that Hyunjin had done to promote the album. But, Hyunjin’s agency pressured him to at least participate in one.

So there he was, on a huge talk show, with his best smile and almost two whole packs of cigarettes before entering.

  
  
  


"So you can say that your dream came true, Hyunjin?" The interviewer kept a constant smirk on her face.

The younger man looked at Changbin by his side in the armchair, and he nodded. "More than that, it's so much more than my dream coming true." He smiled, trying to ignore the heat covering his cheeks, Hyunjin suddenly perceived what he said. "Oh, like. Yeah, I'm basically best friends with my favorite idol, right now." He was quick to add.

The presenter seemed to find the way Hyunjin was disconcerted very funny. "Best friend? I really believed that you were together! Like, that kiss? It seemed very real to me." The audience agreed. 

"Oh, dear. But, that's how Hyunjin works. He makes people fall in love with him and then puts them in the Friendzone!" Changbin snapped, giggling. 

"Bin!" Hyunjin playfully punched the other man's arm. 

The woman almost gagged in a chuckle, the crowd was yelling and laughing too. 

That was totally not on their script.

  
  
  


They went back to the talk show dressing room, they still needed to take some pictures with the presenter before they left. Hyunjin had his arm connected to Changbin's, laughing and slapping him for saying some embarrassing things live. If they were already close and didn't leave each other before the album was released, it had intensified. Even though they didn't kiss, or talk about feelings, they were more and more clingy with each passing day.

When they finally reached the dressing room, they encountered the illustrious presence of Changbin’s ex boyfriend, having a coffee, with raised eyebrows.

They stopped at the door. 

"I think it's great that you don't have to write any more songs about me to be successful, now that you have a new crutch to carry you around." Minho said with a smirk, then licked his lips. 

"Minho!" Chan appeared from behind, handing Hyunjin and Changbin a bottle of water for each one of them. "Don't-"

"I'm just kidding!" The model raised both hands in redemption, chuckling. "I’m not here to fight, stop staring at me like this.” 

Hyunjin was glaring angrily at Minho, Changbin could feel the boy's heavy breathing beside him, immediately ceasing to hold Changbin's arm, tensing up. “What are you doing here?” The singer asked, bitter in his words. 

“I just came to see my boyfriend.” Lee Know took a sip from his coffee. “See, I don’t get invited to talk show interviews like these anymore, I missed their coffee.” He proceeded to tease with a playful smile. 

“Look, Minho, I’m sorr-” Changbin started. 

“Oh no, you’re not playing the nice guy just because you’re in front of your new puppy.” Despite the aggressiveness of the sentence, Minho was still smirking. He walked, stopping really close to Hyunjin’s face. “By the way, I really enjoyed your song. I told Channie, you two really have some chemistry. I hope it lasts.” He patted Hyunjin twice on the shoulder, then left without waiting for their response. 

Bin blinked a couple times, trying to articulate what had just happened. 

“Chan, I’m sorry. I really, really like you, you’re a amazing friend, but you’re also Changbin’s manager, and as a manager you shouldn't let this asshole around.” Hyunjin was still angry, with his hands in fists. “And you? Why were you apologizing?”

“Just- Ignore him, Hyuni.” Changbin mumbled, shrugging. He gulped his water, cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand. “I don’t really mind him around, he’s always like this, bickering everyone who enters in his way.” 

“He is an asshole.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes. He took Changbin’s free hand, a habit that he had recently acquired. “Come one, let's just take this photo and go, I'm starving.”

.

.

.

Thit was supposed to be a V.I.P party, celebrating the success of Hyunjin's album and the announcement of the world tour. Changbin did not know half of these people. He was always a charismatic person and loved parties, but that kind of environment always meant that some shit could happen. It wasn’t a good idea. Changbin was clean for almost a month now and Hyunjin was the only one who knew it. 

His mouth watered as he watched Jisung drink some beer. 

“Aren't you drinking?” Han asked innocently, with a raised eyebrow. 

Changbin bit his lip, just one beer. He could manage it. It was not as if one beer was going to destroy all the effort he had made that month. 

“Hey!” Hyunjin came with his cheeky smile, it was like his face lit up every time he looked at Changbin. He was holding a martini glass, seeming a little tipsy already. When he saw Changbin empty-handed, he realized that it might not be a good idea to be drinking near him. He held the glass to Seungmin by his side. “I’m already done.” He said, then held Seo in a bear hug. 

“You can keep drinking.” Changbin chuckled between Hyunjin’s fluffy dark hair, smelling all his cinnamon scent, squeezing his waist. “I think I'll get myself a beer.”

“Are you sure?” He still had his arms around Changbin's shoulders, staring at him. “We don't need to stay long, anyway.”

“Oh, come on, we need to enjoy this moment! We’re celebrating. I’m doing fine.” Changbin caressed the younger man's hips. “I’m gonna get some beer, and then we're gonna take this dance floor down!” 

  
  
  


One bottle of beer became twelve.

And some shots of whiskey. 

The amount of people in a sweaty mess of bodies dancing over an EDM song, Changbin let his body move with the loud beat, the bass seemed to rock in his chest. His reflexes were too slow, but he was still able to synchronize with Hyunjin's body next to his. He could distinguish the boy's muscles flexing to his touches, his fingers could feel Hyunjin's smooth skin and it was possible to notice the chills coming from his body.

Changbin tightened his grip on the younger man's waist, bringing him impossibly closer. His chin rested on the curve of Hyunjin’s neck, sniffling and leaving small wet kisses there.

“Bin.” Hyunjin gasped, giggling. He was tipsy, but he knew how drunk Changbin was. “People are watching.” He mumbled against Changbin’s hair. “You’re pretty drunk already, we should leave.” 

“Hmhm. I want to kiss you, Jinnie.” It was what his drunk brain managed to say, getting his face closer to Hyunjin’s, his alcoholic breath tickling Jin’s cheeks.

“We shouldn’t.” The singer walked away, trying to regain some consciousness. Hyunjin felt his body heating up. He really wanted to put his sanity aside and give in to Changbin's touches, but it wasn't right. Not now. “I'll get water. I'll be right back, okay?”

“Bathroom.” Was Changbin’s drunk answer, then he nodded to Felix and Jisung, who did not pay much attention, too preoccupied with sucking each other's faces.

Changbin walked stumbling until he reached the bathroom, bursting the door open, leaning on the sink, looking at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were small, he was drunk like a skunk. 

It had been a long time since he had felt that way, and perhaps it was because of the short break that he had been without drinking. He turned on the tap, sticking his face under the water, trying to regain some sobriety. He couldn't be like this, he shouldn't be like this.

After Changbin wiped his face, he whiffed a familiar smell.

Weed.

He heard some giggling behind him, coming from one of the closed booths. The door opened, and he faced someone he hadn't seen during the entire party so far. 

Chan.

With Minho by his side. 

His best friend's bright smile faded away. “Bin?” Chan could tell when Changbin was wasted from afar. “Are you ok?” His tone was concerned, he approached Binnie, touching his shoulder. "I didn't think you would come."

“Yeah, but I came.” Changbin shrugged, and then looked at Minho, who had a blunt between his fingers and a curious look.

“Want some?!” Lee Minho offered, with his usual malicious smile. 

_Just one hit wouldn't hurt, right?_

“I don't think it's a good idea.” Chan tried to prevent the mistake. 

“Oh, come on, Channie, it’s just weed.” Minho laughed, patting his boyfriend’s shoulders. "I bet you miss that, don't you, Binnie?!"

How long had he not heard that nickname come out of Minho's lips.

Changbin shrugged again, being taken by the situation, he accepted almost gladly the first session. From the first swallow, he could already feel the effects of mixing weed and a lot of alcohol in his system. 

“Wanna know something fun, bunny?” Lee Know knew the effects of that pet name on Changbin, and yet he used it, breaking the silence. “Channie already told me that he wants to kiss you.”

Changbin raised an eyebrow, looking amused at his best friend. 

Chan on the other hand, blushed, looking away. “It’s not like this.” He mumbled, then chuckled. “You’re hot. You know you’re hot.” 

“Yeah?!” Changbin smirked, even though it seemed, he was not fully aware of what he was doing. “Come here then.” He swallowed the pipe, approaching Chan, letting the smoke escape between his lips for his best friend to pull. 

When the smoke left Chan's nostrils, Changbin let his lips touch. Chris's lips were soft, full, and fit well against Changbin's, he felt himself being pulled by the waist when Chan deepened the kiss.

“We should go upstairs.” That was what Changbin heard Minho say.

  
  
  
  


He was overwhelmed, Minho’s hands pulling his hair, lips licking his Adam's apple. Changbin knew that was wrong, knew that he shouldn’t do this, his brain screamed for reason to take him back to his guts, but he was extremely lost in a fuzz of beer and weed. He melted against Chan’s touches behind him, his best friend pushed off his shirt, biting his shoulders, squeezing his ribs, then moaning soft in his ear. 

_ Why was he doing this? Why was he letting go by it? Why? _ Changbin bit his lower lip, whining softly, he chased Minho’s mouth in a floppy kiss, grabbing his ex’s hair, trying to regain some control over the situation. Hands and fingers were all over his body. He could feel Chan's strong hands massaging his chest, squeezing one of his nipples, making him gasp. “Fuck.” Changbin mumbled against Minho’s. 

_ Why were they doing it? Why was he like this? Where was Jinnie?!  _ He needed to go after Hyunjin, he couldn’t do it to him. They were not together, but Changbin was sure he had strong feelings for the boy.  _ So why was he almost fucking with his ex and his best friend?  _

“Are you this worked up just with some kisses, bunny?!” Minho chuckled against his chin, he pulled away a bit to get his own shirt off, and Chan guided Changbin to a king sized bed behind them. “I’m glad that you agreed to have some fun with us, can I say that I missed your cock?!” He glanced at his boyfriend, smirking.

“If there was anything you liked about me, it was definitely my dick.” Changbin snapped, rolling his eyes back when Chan grabbed his crotch. “Fuck, Channie.” He whispered. Things happened quickly, but he had time to distinguish, the bedroom door suddenly opened, and he could see Hyunjin's expression. 

“Binnie are you-” His dark eyes widened with the scene in front of him, nothing but pain crossing his face. 

Sobriety hit Changbin like a truck.

“Shit.” He felt his chest clench, Hyunjin was already gone. “Get off me! Get the fuck off me.” He extricated himself from Chan's arms, not bothering to pick up his shirt. 

“What the fuck?!” Minho blinked a couple times, watching his ex running out through the door. 

That's when things finally started to patch up in Bang Chan's stoned head. "What the fuck were we doing, Minho?!" 

  
  


He was too dizzy, and as much as he thought he was running, his movements were slow. He managed to see Hyunjin's back crossing the hall, towards the mansion's stairs. The music was still loud, making his head throb, the beat bumping in his ears. Changbin felt his stomach turn over. He needed a drink, or just something to knock him out. He tried to walk faster, stumbling down the stairs, watching Hyunjin disappear among the people. “Fuck.” He felt his mouth turn bitter, and he didn't know why, but tears were already starting to want to come out. “Jinnie! JINNIE!” 

Hyunjin looked over his shoulder, his face was already red, eyes completely puffed. Crying a river. He ran faster, getting out of the house, reaching the gardens, looking for air.  _ He couldn't react like that, why was he reacting like that? _ He and Changbin were nothing, right?! They kissed a few times, but it wasn't like they were something, or Changbin really liked him. 

**So why did it hurt this much?**

“Hyunjin!” Changbin was finally able to reach him, panting hard. “Jinnie. Please, that’s not what… I- Fuck. Hyunnie, please.” He approached, making Hyunjin take a few steps away from him.

“Stay fucking away from me.” 

“Jinnie, don’t. I’m sorry.” He didn't try to get any closer. Changbin felt stubborn tears streaming down his cheeks. Of course, he would ruin everything, he couldn’t live without destroying every good thing around him. “I’m sorry.” 

“You… You left me, you just disappeared and I was worried about you! I looked for you everywhere, Changbin.” Hwang held a yell, a lump growing in his throat. “But, I really didn't need to worry, huh?! You seemed very well around Lee Minho’s neck.” 

“It’s not like this, it’s not what you think it is. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He kept repeating apologies, not knowing what to say, after all, there was not much to be said. Changbin's head hurt, he couldn't think straight anymore, he tried to take two more steps towards Hyunjin. Realizing that the man didn't try to dodge this time. 

“Did you do drugs?!” Hyunjin asked, holding too much to not cry anymore. This was so fucked up. “I don't even know why I'm asking this. You don't have to justify yourself to me. Why did you come after me? Go back to your ex!”

“I-”   


“Are you high? You are, aren’t you?! Why? You said you quit that shit, Changbin.” Hyunjin wanted to be rational and ignore him, get away from him, pretend that nothing had happened, that he hadn't seen anything. Staying professional, after all, that was the only relationship they really had with each other.  _ A strictly professional relationship. _

**Who was he trying to fool?**

“It was just weed, I swear.” Changbin grumbled, risking getting a little closer. “I know that I don’t need to justify myself, Hyunnie, but I can’t lose you. I can’t. I can’t let you leave me. I’m sorry, Hyunjinnie, I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me. I know I disappointed you, I know I’m a piece of shit, I know that I don’t deserve you next to me, but I can’t stay away from you anymore, please, please don’t leave me.” He didn’t know exactly what he was talking about, the words came running over, desperate. There didn't seem to be enough air to breathe. Changbin felt his legs give way, kneeling on the grass in front of Hyunjin. Sobbing loudly. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, I know. I know. But, I warned you, I warned you that I was broken.” He kept mumbling, looking up searching for Hyunjin’s dark eyes. “I don’t know why I’m like this, I swear I’ll not do nothing like this anymore, I swear. I will stop the drinking shit for real, I will quit everything. Give me a second chance, Hyunnie.” 

It was so painful to watch that Hyunjin could have sworn that his heart was breaking into small pieces, he was able to feel himself falling apart. Why was Changbin asking for a second chance, why did he think Hyunjin would leave him?!

**Too many questions for so many complicated answers.**

Hyunjin approached the short man in tiny steps, kneeling next to him, his chest was tight, he was so confused. Jin embraced Changbin’s naked and broad shoulders, squeezing him through his own chest, hearing a loud hiccup when Bin collapsed against him, sobbing hard. “Why would I leave you?” He whispered against Changbin’s hair, holding himself to not also fall apart. “You don’t owe me anything, why are you asking for a second chance?!” 

“I hurt you. I’m always hurting you. I’m always hurting everybody.” The older man whined against Hyunjin’s chest, grabbing his sweater with his dear life. 

“You don’t owe me anything, Changbin. If you think you hurt me ‘cuz you were fucking around with Minho and Chan, that’s not what really hurted me. What hurts me it’s seeing you destroying yourself like this. You said that was just weed, but you know that if it was something more you would probably go through it.”

“I'll not do this anymore, I swear. I'm quitting everything, Hyunnie. I’m sorry, don’t leave me, I’m sorry.” He mumbled incoherently between the sobs. “You gotta stay with me.” 

“I’m not going anywhere, Binnie.” Hyunjin held him tight, not holding back his tears anymore. “But we’ll really talk about this tomorrow, when we're both completely sober, ok?! Let’s go home, I’m gonna ask for a driver.” 

  
  


Changbin was shaking and babbling incoherently when Hyunjin helped him get into the car’s back seat. The peak of sobriety had passed, and he was no longer very aware of his surroundings.

“I'll get your shirt, I'll be right back.” He heard Hyunjin say, but it was a distant sound. 

  
  


Hwang toured the mansion, ignoring some curious looks, after all, although the whole scene happened in the distance, there was some commotion. He ran over the stairs, the room’s door where Changbin was previously was open and the space was empty, Bin’s shirt was still lying on the floor, he took the piece and walked as fast as he could, his only intention was to go as far as possible from there.

His path was interrupted when Chan grabbed him by the shoulder, forcing him to stop.

“What? Get the fuck off my way.” Hyunjin broke away from the touch, he couldn't look at Chan without feeling disgust.

“Is he ok?!” Christopher was still drunk, but a little more sober than before, seeming to have some sense of the damage that earlier attitudes could have caused.

“Why do you fucking care?!” Hwang was fed up with Chan's actions, how could someone like him consider himself Changbin's best friend? He really wanted to have the courage to punch him.

“I’m so sorry, Hyunjin, things just happened, I lost control-”

“Oh, so little Binnie ran away?! Did he cry and beg like he always does when he does stupid shit?” Minho was, yeah, he was  _ smiling _ . 

Hyunjin saw red. 

"Don't you dare to get close to him again!" Hyunjin hissed, an burst of courage building up in his chest, he was almost sober already. He pointed his finger directly at Minho's nose, wanting to break it.

"Oh, and what will you do if I dare to, little princess?!" Minho was still smirking, arms crossing around his own chest. 

The younger didn't exactly know how, but in the next second, his fist was against Minho's chin, in the strongest punch he could deliver. He watched the model's body stagger, Chan holding him by the waist. "Hyunjin! Are you insane?!" 

"If you dare come across him again I'm gonna punch you harder." He said through between his teeth, feeling himself shudder, then quickly turned around leaving the mansion as if his life depended on it. 

**Completely not aware that someone was recording it all.**

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are very welcome! you can also follow me on twitter: @ppacespearb
> 
> thanku so much for reading it!
> 
> kissus, lola!


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